Already approaching May

Whoops, it looks like I totally forgot to make a post in March.  This year is passing by particularly quickly, and I feel like I’ve barely done anything.  I’ve been focusing on a lot of things these past two months.  I’ve been working out harder during my exercise sessions.  I’ve been still practicing piano when I can in preparation of recording my piano arrangements.  I ruined my sleep schedule about a month ago and had difficulty falling asleep until it was 6AM.  So I’ve been slowly fixing it by waking up a little earlier when I’m able to so that I’d feel sleepier by night time.  It’s been rough since falling asleep is difficult, waking up is difficult, I wake up every 2 hours throughout the night, and I feel sleepy throughout the day.  I’ve gotten close to a 3AM-11AM schedule, but it’s still not consistent.  I’m hoping I can put it back to, at least, a 2AM-10AM schedule.  I did end up making that remix from Phantom Breaker’s Main Menu theme.

 

I’ve been working through more games the past two months, but feel like I’m finishing them too slowly.  At least I was able to finish games like Persona 4 Golden (FINALLY, after so many years!), Gunvolt Chronicles: Luminous Avenger iX 2, Borderlands 3, The King of Fighters XV, Splinter Cell Blacklist and Scarlet Nexus.  Unfortunately, I still have to do a second playthrough of Persona 4 Golden for the true ending and a second playthrough of Scarlet Nexus to see the other half of the story since the game is played through two separate character perspectives.  So those two games, which have already took a lot of time to get through, is going to require even more time before I’m truly finished with them.  In an effort to play better games this year, I’ve been trying to eliminate as many mobile games as I can the past 2 weeks.  There are a few coming out in the near future that I’ll probably play, so that’s more reason why I need to delete the ones I’ve been holding onto for so long or still playing to make time for things I want to do.  But I think the major time sink I’ve had the past 2 months is fighting games again.

Testament’s the 5^th and last DLC character to release for Guilty Gear Strive and my friends have started playing it again since then.  Melty Blood: Type Lumina also released two new characters and I played a bit, trying to learn one of the new characters.  I ended up playing online for Guilty Gear Strive, Melty Blood: Type Lumina, and The King of Fighters XV one week…and got totally destroyed in each of the games.  The amount of people playing GGST is still pretty healthy, so I get matched up to a lot of players much better than me and a few closer to my skill level.  I know I’ve been learning a lot on character match ups, system mechanics, and basic strategies for a lot of characters, but I haven’t been pushing far enough on character familiarity and high level play to really compete with the skill level that players are at right now, including against my friends.  So I’ve been putting the most time into GGST and trying to brush up on execution, creating better game plans, finding and experimenting with new approaches, and just trying to be more consistent with being a threat with the characters that I play.  With KOFXV, I tried playing online way too late (around 5-6 weeks after launch?) as the community is already dwindling.  I couldn’t match up a single ranked match and ended up playing casual matches, which still took a very long time to find an opponent.  I did get matched up to a few players around or below my skill level and got to experience real matches of KOF for once; however, a majority of the matches I got put into are of players waaaaaaay beyond my skill level.  I had a player that was ranked “champion” which is the highest rank (the rank goes from 1-30 and then champion, I’m rank 9), and he didn’t even bother playing a second match with me because of how inexperienced I was.  As demoralizing as it was, it felt nice to play KOF with a human player now that I have a basic understanding of the game.  In MB:TL, matching up with a player was better as I didn’t have to wait too long; however, the connection with the players was REALLY bad with a lot of the matches.  I hear the game suffers from one-sided rollback, so one player is feeling input delays and seeing a teleporting opponent while the other player won’t feel much of a difference.  I played against a lot of high level players and a decent amount of players around my skill level.  The new character I was playing “Mario Gallo Bestino” is a puppet character and was a little tougher to learn and play compared to “Powered Ciel” the other new character.  I went up against a lot of P.Ciel and kept losing to neutral because she reaches half way across the screen with her C button.  As much as I want to improve in MB:TL, my friends losing interest in the game and a dwindling online community isn’t very motivating.  I also ended up going back to a lot of older fighting games I haven’t played in a while and playing them again with new perspective as I’ve learned a lot of new things the past 2 years that has helped in learning new fighting games.  I started seeing and doing new things I didn’t notice before in those games and enjoyed them more than I remember from the last time I played them.  Fighting games were definitely a huge time sink the past two months, but I had fun playing them.

Going back to Persona 4, after I finished the game, I started delving into all the other related things I wanted to do but didn’t yet because I wanted to finish the main game.  I started the story for Persona 4 Arena since Ultimax is now available on Steam PC.  I started and finished Persona 4 The Animation within 3 days as I was super hooked.  They did a great job condensing a 100 hour game into 25 episodes.  I also watched Persona 4 The Golden Animation.  And then I watched a show called Trinity Seven.  I really wanted to get back into watching more animé this year since I wanted to last year but barely watched any.

So despite sounding like I’ve barely done anything these past two months, I’ve been kept busy.  I hope I can get back to working on music and language learning in May and perhaps get around to playing console games again, but I have quite a few things I want to still take care of first.  I’ve got to make some decisions and work hard in May, because Summer distractions are approaching.

New Year's Resolution 2022

2021 was unlike any other year I’ve experienced in the past 11 years.  A lot of plans went accordingly while others were thrown out altogether.  With the threat of the COVID-19 virus still prevalent in the world, we were still reluctant to go out anywhere for the first half of 2021.  It has been both an interesting year and a painful year in 2021.

I started the year purchasing an Oculus Quest 2 and delving into Virtual Reality games.  I expected it to be a fun little distraction I could partake in.  But VR turned out to be a life changing experience for me.  Having been home for the past 11 years, the sudden and constant flow of stimulation from being in new environments and new experiences did wonders for my mental health.  I expected VR to be more of something I did alone, but I quickly learned that a lot of VR games can be played online with friends.  Having my friends standing next to me, even as fictional virtual characters, brought me closer to them than any other videogame was capable of doing in the past.  Another huge surprise was how much physical exertion was required to play some of these VR games.  I was playing VR everyday for nearly 2 months before I cut down on the time I spent with a headset on.  I found a balance between working out on Ring Fit Adventure and playing games in VR for exercise and I managed to drop to the weight I was at coming out of college.  It has since gone back up a little ever since we started going out to eat again.

Early March, I learned about Moses McCormick's (also known as 老鼠 - lǎoshǔ 'Mouse') passing.  As mentioned in the post that month, he was a polyglot Youtuber that surprised people by speaking their native language to them.  I enjoyed his videos and respected his ability to learn so many different languages, and thus saddened by his passing.  Around that time, I was playing VR Chat and tried to look for Japanese players to practice speaking Japanese with.  What I eventually found were players from around the world ALSO trying to practice Japanese but also spoke different languages.  I met people from France, Germany, South Korea, Malaysia, Saudi Arabia, and Russia all wanting to learn Japanese.  So with those two events in mind, it inspired me to start learning different languages.  Throughout April, I focused on learning Korean, practicing guitar, and exercising.  It was also around this time that Puyo Puyo Tetris 2 came out and I was studying on how to get better on the two.  I actually forgot that it was within this past year that I learned new setups on Tetris and learned how to do a GTR setup on Puyo Puyo.  While it sounds silly to learn such unpractical skills, it was fulfilling and was proud I made progress in getting better at those two games.  I eventually made progress in practicing guitar and recorded a cover/arrangement.

While I did not mention it in my posts in May and June, I think I’m willing to talk a little about it.  In May, we received news that a close family friend of ours had a sudden heart attack and passed away.  It was shocking and heart breaking.  He lived in China and with the travel restrictions in place due to the pandemic, we wouldn’t be able to go pay our respects to him if we wanted to.  Then less than a month later, my aunt passed away from an aggressive form of cancer.  The following months were difficult, and a lot happened in between, though that’s as much as I want to say on the matter.

It was around this time that my family and I got vaccinated and started slowly going out more again.  I saw friends and family I haven’t seen in a long time.  I finally got to see my sister, who I haven’t seen in 2.5 years.  We’ve never been apart that long our whole lives.  I was practicing a lot of Guilty Gear Strive at this time and it was the first time I felt like I was getting somewhere in learning and improving in a fighting game.

The past few months have been kind of a blur as I spent half a year learning a piano piece.  I finally learned the whole piece, but it required dropping everything else I was doing.  Because of this, I didn’t work on any large audio projects for the entirety of 2021.  No remixes, no compositions, only one recording of playing guitar and the recording I did for piano was so poor that I didn’t even count it.  I’m still trying to get better at playing the piece before I record it again.  I forgot to mention that I drew something in 2021.  It’s been an interesting year since I tried to do a lot of things I normally don’t do or haven’t done in a long time: drawing, practicing guitar and piano, learning new languages, and putting actual time and effort into learning a fighting game.

In any case, it’s time to see what resolutions were actually fulfill and which ones weren’t.

Reflection of 2021’s Resolutions:

1) Work on even more original music.  2020 is the most amount of original work I’ve ever created in a year and they were far greater than the remixes I made in the same year.

-I never had time to work on anything in 2021 because I put so much time and effort into learning a guitar track and a piano piece.  This was a resolution I made back in 2018: learn one difficult piece on piano and one hard track on guitar.  I really put in the effort this year and learned how to play Awe of She (Dizzy’s Theme) from Guilty Gear X on guitar and Chopin’s Op. 9 No. 2 Nocturne on piano.  I spent around 3-4 months on guitar and 5-6 months on piano.

2) Mix in new activities this year.  I haven’t watched animé in years and I managed to watch through 19 shows over the summer in 2020.  It was such an incredible feeling watching animé again and changing up my daily routine.  I also created one drawing.  I’d like to do more of that this year: read more books, watch more anime, draw more, practice more musical instruments, and work on other non-music related projects.

- This was my whole year, essentially.  I got into VR and lost a lot of weight.  I created one new drawing.  I was learning and studying eight languages.  I learned a hard guitar track.  I learned and improved on Tetris and Puyo Puyo.  I put in the time and effort to learning and improving Guilty Gear Strive and Melty Blood Type Lumina where it’s the first time I felt like I was getting anywhere in a fighting game.  And then I learned how to play Chopin’s Nocturne, something I’ve wanted to do my whole life.  I got swept up in everything I did in 2021 and concentrated more on what I wanted rather than what I needed.  It felt very liberating from my own conscious of always trying to work towards my career.  I do feel sad that I didn’t make any time for watching animé or reading books.

3) Find even more ways for self-improvement.  Each day, I strive to better myself as a person in body and mind.  I’ve been doing pretty well with taking care of my health, and I think I still have plenty of room for improvement.  I made new discoveries on mixing and mastering in music production.  I’ve been trying to improve in fighting games the past 2 years and I want to get better (and Guilty Gear Strive releases in April).  Maybe fulfilling resolution #2 will allow me to learn new things or gain new experiences.

-Yes, 2021 was a year I spent a lot of time on self-improvement.  I can’t remember if everything I was able to do in 2021 was actually planned or if I was saying in general that I wanted to “learn new things or gain new experiences”.

4) Apply for jobs.  I have enough work to compile a new portfolio.  I’m ready.

-I had zero motivation to look for and apply for jobs in 2021.  We were still in lockdown in the beginning of the year, and I honestly wasn’t expecting to spend so much time on practicing guitar and piano.

5) Control yourself!  I can’t believe I’m making this my resolution once more, and I’ll probably fail considering how many games I’m (now, after seeing what’s in store for 2021 shown at the Videogame Awards) looking forward to this year.  But if possible: spend less money, finish more games than acquired, and reduce that backlog!

-I was doing so well throughout the year…In 2020, I finished 141 games and acquired 184 games.  In 2021, I finished 150 games but acquired 217 games.  The three factors that caused this was: I bought a lot of new VR games after getting the Oculus Quest 2, I subscribed to Humble Choice for a year because of a discount offer for new customers, and a lot of the games I wanted to get all came out in the last few months.  Needless to say, I utterly failed on this resolution.

So I did exceedingly well on two of the resolutions, but absolutely failed on three of them.  It was a year filled with unexpected turn of events and focusing on self-improvement rather than moving forward in life.  So in 2022, I need to take what I've learned and experienced in 2021 and channel it towards what I want to achieve this upcoming year.

My Resolutions for 2022:

1) Get back to working on projects.  I have a lot planned.

2) Continue learning languages.  Focus on Chinese and Japanese.

3) Watch Animé, read books.  I want to do more of this.

4) Update resumé and portfolio.  I really need to make that first step, again.

5) Play more fun games.  I seemed to have played a lot of mediocre games in 2021.

Honestly, I have no motivation to work at the moment.  I’m still burnt out from learning Chopin’s Nocturne in the past half year and all I can think about right now is playing some videogames and I feel like I haven’t been doing that, even though I clearly have.  Going back into language learning, watching animé and reading books also sound nice, but I think I’ll eventually get around to working on recording piano arrangements first since I’ve been practicing piano lately.  Moving forward with videogames this year, I think I should play more quality games, console games, and handheld games instead of playing so many small PC games and mobile games.  Judging from the past two years, I think it’d be prudent of us to move forward with caution rather than optimism.  Please be kind to us, 2022.

Nearing the end of 2021

Looks like I forgot to post anything in November.  The past two months have been interesting.  My family and I have been going out a lot more often, seeing family and friends.  It started feeling like we have some sense of normalcy back in our lives.  Unfortunately, it seems ANOTHER variant of the COVID-19 virus has been discovered in South Africa and those who possibly contracted it went back to their home countries, possibly spreading it all over the world again.  It seems the dangers of this virus isn't going to go away anytime soon.

I finally got a new computer, with a new monitor, new keyboard and new headset.  I wanted an Ultrawide monitor with a higher resolution, higher refresh rate, and curved to make use of all that extra power I have in my new computer.  Since there were Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales, I finally decided to replace my keyboard that I've used for 14 years and headset I've used for 9 years.  It took 2 entire weeks to fully transfer everything from my laptop over to the new computer, check the integrity of my files and save progress of games.  I've pretty much stopped all language learning and practicing fighting games as I've been putting all my time and effort into practicing piano.  I've finally learned all the notes to the piece I'm learning, but still practicing to play it smoothly.

I caved in and ended up buying quite a bit of games.  I realized that I hadn't bought any console games all year (not counting digital) and ended up picking up Metroid Dread for the Nintendo Switch after hearing so many great things about it.  I've only played a few hours when I had the time, but so far it hasn't impressed me as much as I wanted it to.  I also ended up picking up Neptunia x Senran Kagura: Ninja Wars for the PS4 because I've been waiting for this collaboration for nearly a decade so I decided to support it.  It's a bit janky, as expected, but I'm enjoying it.  Then I finally bought my first Oculus Quest 2 game (since I've been only playing everything through SteamVR).  Resident Evil 4 VR sounded way too interesting and I got a 30% off coupon and decided to pick it.  I was thinking it might be gimmicky and a cheap experience, but honestly I think I like it more than the original.  Being able to see the whole world around me in VR, having full aim control, and being able to physically dodge out of danger is just kind of mind blowing out of a game that's over 16 years old.  It might actually be one of the most exciting games I've played this year.

The really big purchase from these past 2 months is Battlefield 2042 Gold Edition.  I got it to play it a week earlier from its base game launch so I could play alongside my friend.  I haven't played Battlefield Online Multiplayer since Battlefield 4 which released back in 2014.  We haven't played THAT much yet (considering how much we spent to pick them up), but it's been fun, nostalgic, but still frustrating.  I've never been that good at Battlefield, and it's always frustrating getting a lot of hits and not getting the kill only to get killed in one to two shots.  Also, this iteration of Battlefield promised a lot, but didn't deliver.  There isn't a campaign this time around, which is fine (I also recently picked up Battlefield 1 and V to play their campaign).  But besides the main multiplayer match, there's also a battle royale mode, and a portal mode which has maps and settings of older Battlefield games that allows for various user made game modes.  Unfortunately, NO ONE is playing any of the other modes or maps.  They're completely empty and I couldn't play them.  The main game's gameplay is solid enough, it feels like a Battlefield game.  But the maps feel like they lack dynamics and areas that create memorable moments like older games had.  So while I'm having fun with Battlefield 2042, I also feel like I'm not getting my money's worth (especially with the various bugs in the game).

Playing Battlefield got me back into playing First-Person Shooters some more, with the online multiplayer side in particular.  I've been rather lukewarm with playing competitive online games with the small exception of Insurgency: Sandstorm over the years.  Playing Battlefield 2042 gave me that itch to play some more again and so I've been playing a bit of Insurgency: Sandstorm again.  I even tried out Halo: Infinite this past weekend and really enjoyed it!  It also helps that I have a computer that can handle playing these sorts of games at a higher frame rate now.  I've been recording and video editing a lot again because of it which has taken quite a bit of time out of my days the past few weeks.

I have a lot I want to accomplish this month.  I definitely want to finish learning the piano piece and perform it for my parents.  I'm hoping to create at least one remix since I didn't make a single one this entire year.  I have an idea for a music cover, but I'm not certain if I want to take the time to do that.  I also have quite a few games I want to prioritize and finish.  I need to finish 12 more games before the end of the month to reach the same amount of games I finished last year (I think I can do it).  It's hard to believe that a whole year has gone by.  I still remember planning out how 2021 would play out and what I would be working on, but everything turned out way differently.  I have a lot on my mind on what I want to do in the future, but it's also something I don't want to worry about for maybe the next two months as I take care of some short term goals first.

Recollecting myself

 I missed posting anything the past two months, which I don't think has ever happened before two months in a row.  In June, I had planned on talking about playing Guilty Gear Strive, PSO2: New Genesis, Samurai Shodown and Scarlet Nexus as well as all the games announced during that month.  But some stuff happened that felt too personal to post about.  I was emotionally and mentally fatigued.  I was supposed to spend June relaxing and playing games.  And while I was able to play games, they were only a slight distraction from what was happening in my personal life.  I spent July picking myself back up and trying to get back into productivity with language learning and practicing music.  July is kind of a blur for me, but I do remember getting through a lot of games.  August has also been kind of a blur, and I only completed two games.  I spent a lot of August practicing piano, exercising, and trying to get better at Guilty Gear Strive.

Guilty Gear Strive has been a rollercoaster ride of learning something new and getting better, maybe performing more consistently, and then getting beat by everyone I go against and realizing I've already fallen behind.  I am having a lot of fun with Guilty Gear Strive, but I think it also came with some frustration as everyone is getting better faster than me while I tried to improve since I'm really putting the effort this time around to get better at a fighting game.  I think the frustration comes from the fact that no matter how much I try to learn and improve, it never seems to be enough to keep up.  It's ironic because it's also part of what makes it fun since the game keeps evolving and changing so there's always something new to learn or do.  As for all the other games: I played quite a few hours of PSO2: New Genesis, but haven't played much since June.  I played a few rounds of Samurai Shodown on Arcade mode and do enjoy it, but it does feel a bit lonely not being able to play it with anyone.  I played about 10 hours of Scarlet Nexus and haven't continued in a long time, but plan to soon.  The reason for that was I picked up Blaster Master Zero 3 last month and have spent all my free time playing through it in August.  What usually happens is whenever I do have free time, I end up playing Guilty Gear Strive because I have that drive to keep improving.

Aside from that, I got to spend some time with friends in August as my family and I are finally fully vaccinated and I feel less paranoid about seeing people now.  I haven't seen some of them in 2 years and some of them haven't seen each other in over 5 years.  Two of them moved back home, so I have a higher chance of seeing them and hanging out than we have in the past decade.

Over half of the year is already over and I'm just wondering if it's right for me to keep stalling my main objective of finishing my portfolio and applying for jobs or even just working on more audio work.  I keep finding other ways to occupy my time, probably because it's the first time in many years where I'm learning new things and experiencing different activities rather than just constantly focusing on music composition/production.  I'm almost done with all my short term goals that I wanted to do and will continue on my main project soon.

Heavy Distractions, Incoming

I am so behind in everything.  I still haven’t recorded the music cover I’ve been working on, I haven’t learned all that much in my language study sessions, I only finished 2 games this month (maybe a 3rd tonight?), I’ve gained back a little bit of weight because of the few times we went out to eat and missing exercises a few days, and all that effort I made being able to sleep early and wake early has been slowly undone as I struggle to sleep at earlier times.  I finally finished the drawing of the Under Night In-Birth characters, but it took up the first half of the month to complete it.  I’m mostly satisfied with it, but it does have a few problems I noticed after staring at it for so long so I might go back to fix it.  I haven’t recorded the song I’m learning on guitar yet, but I feel like I’ve made a decent amount of progress on practicing it.  My left wrist hurts from practicing on the guitar, so I’m probably going to rest for the weekend.  I’m trying to complete so many things before June hits that I feel like I won’t be able to get anything done.

There’s a lot that’s going to happen in June this year.  Guilty Gear Strive, Samurai Shodown on Steam (FINALLY, AFTER 2 YEARS!), Phantasy Star Online 2: New Genesis, and Scarlet Nexus all release in June.  Multiple game announcements will be made through digital streaming events in place of in-person E3 events.  Steam Summer Sale starts at the end of the month.  There is just so much going on next month; I’m not sure how I’m going to handle it other than possibly dropping everything I’m doing just to enjoy the games that are coming out.  I really want to go back to working on that big project I started back in October, but I know it’ll be a lot of work and won’t be done that quickly.  I suppose I can work little by little on it throughout June.

Setting aside all my worries, I am SO excited for the games next month.  I keep thinking about Guilty Gear Strive these past months that it’s been difficult to focus.  I’ve been watching a lot of clips of beta gameplay, listening to the music, and trying to learn as much as I can about this newest installment in the series.  Depending on how SNK packages Samurai Shodown for Steam and what they price it at, I may or may not pick it up right away.  As excited as I am to play the game, I’m not too keen on spending $110 ($50 for base game; 3 x $20 DLC packs) especially when we’ve waited 2 years after its initial dated release.  I’m also not sure if I’ll have anyone to play it with, whether if the single-player mode will keep me playing for very long, and not to mention the amount of money I need to already spend on all the other games.

I potentially have one more week left for any productivity I want taken care of before I dive deep into playing Guilty Gear Strive, PSO2: New Genesis, and Scarlet Nexus.

Slow progression

 I can't believe an entire month as already passed by.  I really tried to stay focus this past month and be more productive.  I finally got into a daily habit of: doing something productive > practice some guitar > exercise > work towards finishing a game.  I've been putting a lot of focus on learning more Korean.  Honestly, I learning way too slowly and yet nothing's really sunk in.  But because I've been focusing so much on Korean, I haven't had the chance to focus on any other language much other than the few days I learned how to count in each of the languages.  I've been making slow progress on guitar practice, but I'm feeling more comfortable playing the song I'm learning.  This past week, I decided to draw and I was hoping to finish within the week.  From the pace I'm going at, it looks like it's going to take me about 2-3 weeks to finish it since I'm being a bit ambitious with it.  I'm making great progress with finishing games, but I'd like to finish more of the bigger ones so I can finally move on from them and play other games.

Overall, I found a good balance to my daily routine, as long as I don't get distracted.  I did get distracted a few times throughout the month playing Puyo Puyo Tetris 2.  I've been trying to improve on playing those two games as well and finally made some break throughs with them.  On Tetris, I'm finally more comfortable doing 4-well combos, setting up T-Spin Triples, and make much more T-Spin doubles frequently in a match.  For Puyo Puyo, I FINALLY understand how to create and utilize the Great Tanaka Renso (GTR) setup and can reliably make a 7-10 chain combo.  After two years of looking at the setup and trying and practicing, I finally understand how it works.  Still, I'm very slow and not very optimal on both games.  It's been fun trying to get better at those two games and expand my understanding of them.  I'm trying to do the same with everything else I'm doing.  I've been still keeping up with exercise and push harder to lose more weight.  Unfortunately, I think I pulled something in my lower back last week and I was barely able to sit and stand correctly the past 3 days.  I'm feeling much better today and started exercising again.

It's a bit disheartening to see my list of completed audio projects still empty after 4 months into the year, but I really am putting a lot of effort into learning new things, and focusing on self-improvement.  I think the big thing I want to finish is learning that song on guitar, make a recording and then I can move on from there.  I'm hoping to finish the rest of the project I started back in October, and maybe do some reading in May.  I was thinking I could do some reading in April, but I've been just too busy with language learning, guitar practice, and exercise (and now drawing).  I've also been focusing so much on playing the lesser games I have for the sake of finishing games that I haven't really been able to ENJOY playing games this past month.  Puyo Puyo Tetris 2 is at least enjoyable and something I played a lot of.  I think Katamari Damacy Reroll was pretty fun too (finished over this past weekend).

For now, I just want to focus on finishing this drawing and recording the song I'm learning on guitar.  Afterwards, I can think about how I want to move forward in the following the months.  I'm not sure how big of a problem the Summer distractions (E3, Steam Summer Sale, EVO, Summer Games Done Quick) will be this year considering a lot of the stuff I looked forward last year were all watered down or canceled.  And it looks like Japan is really going through with the Summer Olympics this year in Tokyo.  I really hope everything goes well, for the sake of their country, the participating athletes, and for the rest of the world finally looking forward to something.

Adjusting back to productivity

It's been a very slow transition for me to get back into being productive, and I'm still wasting too much time in the day to get any work done.  I've finally cut down on obsessively playing VR this month reducing it from around 28 hours a week to around 8 hours a week.  I've gotten back into Ring Fit Adventure into my weekly routine so that I get a more balanced workout.  I do Ring Fit Adventure on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for muscle training and harder cardio workout.  I play VR on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays for back/sides stretching, arm/shoulder training, and squat repetition with light cardio workout.  And then I try to relax on Sundays to give my body a break.

Having gotten a more normal workout routine in place, I then focused on reducing my time on doing dailies for Genshin Impact and Phantasy Star Online 2.  I stopped doing anything that required resin (stamina points) in Genshin Impact which reduced my gameplay time of 1-1.5 hours down to 10-15 minutes as I only focused on daily quests.  For Phantasy Star Online 2, I stopped doing dailies if the mission pass didn't have rewards I wanted out of them and have tried to progress story missions instead.  I am spending less time on both games daily as a result, but they still take up a lot of time during the weekends when I decide to do a little more.  With more time saved up in the day, I wanted to be more productive.

During my time playing VR, there were a few times I played VR Chat and tried to practice speaking Japanese and ended up meeting people from all over the world who were also learning Japanese and/or other languages.  I've always been interested in learning other languages but never made a real effort to try.  Early March, news made its way to me of Moses McCormick's (also known as 老鼠 - lǎoshǔ 'Mouse') passing.  He was a polyglot Youtuber who spoke 20 different languages and I liked watching him connect with so many different people by speaking their native languages.  It was sad to hear of his passing.  Watching some of his old videos and then transitioning to watching a few other polyglot youtubers, I finally decided that I wanted to learn some different languages.  I knew learning a new language was going to be difficult and that I would likely forget everything I learned if I don't use it, but I fancied the idea of learning just a handful of words and phrases for each of the languages I was interested in.  Besides learning some words, I also wanted to learn how to read and write in Korean and Russian because I realized that despite rarely ever writing or speaking Japanese, I read and hear it a lot which has helped me practice and learn a little on my own.  In the past year, I noticed I understood more words in the animé I watched than I used to and that I was learning new words along the way.  So I've been trying to expose myself to more stuff in Chinese and French, hoping to learn more.  And since Korean and Russian use a completely different alphabet system, I figured I could learn more if I learned how to read and write the alphabet for them.  So for the past 2 weeks, I've started preparing myself to learn the very basics of: Chinese, Japanese, Korean, French, Spanish, Russian, German, and Italian.  I don't know how far I'll go with learning any of these, but I hope I can improve Chinese, Japanese and French the most.

My main focus this past month has been practicing Electric Guitar and learn a particular song.  I've been making "okay" progress, but I would like to learn faster as I still have a lot planned this year and I'm getting nothing done.  I still feel a bit lost in when it comes to my long term goals as I can't see them coming to fruition any time soon and have no idea how to reach there anymore.  But my short term goals are clear and exciting, so I have no hesitation striving to better myself with them.

What a crazy week

 Let me start off by saying that nothing serious happened.  Nothing truly THAT good or THAT bad happened.  But the ups and downs of this past week has affected me enough where I contemplated on why it did in the first place.

Leading up to the start of last week was the Lunar New Year's sale on Steam and many other platforms.  I've been playing a lot of Virtual Reality games and wanted to pick up some more.  I got a decent amount and was mostly happy with them.  I tried them all out and felt a bit of regret on two of my purchases, of which I couldn't return because I went beyond the 2 hour limit before I got to that conclusion.

Then the week started off with the announcement that SoulWorker was going to close its servers at the end of April.  I was sad to hear the news and figured it wasn't doing too well as time went on anyways.  To my surprise, it had a steady stream of players throughout its run on Steam.  They probably weren't making enough money to make up the difference.  I'm hoping to make some time and play as much as I can of it before it disappears.

On Monday, I was doing my daily logins on my mobile games when Another Eden suddenly kicked me back out to home screen.  I thought it was strange and tried starting it up a couple of times and it still kicked me back out to home screen immediately.  I restarted my phone and to my horror, all my applications were greyed out.  None of my games or applications started up.  I checked my storage and realized that my Micro SD card had corrupted and so I tried to recover the files on my PC.  It seems a majority of the files were lost and the ones recovered weren't important.  While annoying, I wasn't too worried as I had linked all my games to an account that can be recovered.  I tried formatting the Micro SD Card and it didn't work.  It seemed the structural integrity of the memory card was compromised beyond repair, and so I reluctantly ordered a new one.

On Wednesday, Nintendo had a Direct in which they haven't had in over a year.  And the very first thing they started off with was something I didn't expect to happen.  As soon as the stream started and I read "Not actual gameplay footage", heard the music and saw the skyship, I gasped and thought "omg, is Pyra being added to Super Smash Bros. Ultimate?"  For context, I've wanted Pyra/Mythra (Homura/Hikari) from Xenoblade Chronicles 2 in SSBU since its launch and gave up hope that they'd ever make it in after Rex was shown as a Mii Costume and Pyra/Mythra were shown as Spirits in Spirit Mode.  What gave me a glimmer of hope was Min Min's addition to the roster when she was a spirit as well.  When Rex said "One day, Pyra just disappeared...", I started freaking going "OMG, IT'S HAPPENING!"  This character reveal brought me to tears and I didn't think there were any character reveals that could do that anymore.  The last 2 DLC characters have a lot to live up to.  The rest of the direct was okay with most of the announcements being updates on previously announced games and remakes/remasters.

All that good feeling was quickly dashed as I couldn't link my account to get my save file back for Another Eden.  All my other games easily got me back to where I left off, and I couldn't figure out how to do it on Another Eden.  Unfortunately, I didn't realize it until the next day that I had accidentally started a new game and overwrote my save file with it.  I contacted support to see if they could help me, but all the required information were things I didn't know about (user ID number and such).  They weren't able to find my account based on the little information I had, which is understandable considering how many accounts were made for their game.  I was heartbroken and sadden by the loss of 2-3 years of grinding, progression, and collecting characters.  But I was also mad at myself when I realized I could've gotten it back if I hadn't overwrote my save file.  To make matters worse, I found out the day after that there wasn't even a save file found on my account for BangDream (all those Animé and Persona songs I got)!

Then little things started to bug me.  A friend found a good deal for the pre-order of Guilty Gear Strive Deluxe, which I was definitely going to get.  Unfortunately, my payment couldn't go through and I wasted over an hour trying.  I tried the next day and it still didn't work.  By this point, I was feeling emotionally miserable and I couldn't understand why I felt that way.  I tried to tell myself "It's just an online game that's closing down, that happens all the time.  I just lost some mobile games, and while it sucks it's not THAT bad.  Sure, I could've saved $18 with that deal, but if I had to pay full price for a game, I'm glad it's Guilty Gear Strive."  While I didn't quite convince myself that day, I felt much better the next day.

After that, a bunch of fighting game news made its way with Tekken 7 DLC character teased, a guilty gear character teased for Samurai Shodown, Chizuru Kagura making a surprise return to The King of Fighters XV, and Guilty Gear Strive revealing I-No as the last base roster character.

So I had to think to myself "why was I having such an emotional rollercoaster ride this past week?"  In all honesty, all these good and bad things are pretty normal and non-consequential.  I think that's what helped me get over the bad stuff and focus on the good stuff; that I can live and enjoy such frivolities at a time like this is something I won't take for granted.  I'm glad COVID-19 cases are dropping, but the world still feels unsafe with new strains, mutations and other possible virus outbreaks happening overseas.  I hear that Texas has power outages as the temperature continues to drop throughout the country the past 2 weeks.

I am a bit worried about not being productive as I've been playing a lot of VR, but that in itself has been a stepping stone towards self improvement.  I've actually been losing weight from playing VR and I'm down to a weight I haven't been at in nearly a decade.  As I try to move away from mobile games, motivate myself towards working again, and focusing on more things I want to do (get through more console games, reading, learning new languages, practicing more music, etc.), I'm slowing planning out my year and figuring out my priorities.  But yeah, what a crazy week.  I'm so happy Pyra/Mythra are in Smash, I can't wait to play them next month!

New Year's Resolution 2021

 Reflection of 2020’s Resolutions

 1) Just work on music. I feel so inspired and excited about making more music recently. I think I’ll just naturally make a lot of progress, finally have my portfolio done, and start applying for jobs with it because I feel pretty confident in my skills now.

 -I’m actually surprised by how much I got done this past year and I’m really proud of the work I’ve made.  I worked on 23 audio tracks with 12 of them being original compositions.  None of my original work is up yet, and I can’t wait to share it with everyone!

 2) Live healthy. I’ve already cut soda out of my diet years ago, I drink a lot of water, I exercise whenever I can, I’m eating less carbs if I can, and I go out walking for fresh air and sunlight. But the one thing I’m still not doing is going to sleep early and waking up early.

 -So this was a bit of a struggle because the pandemic led to the lockdown of gyms and the wildfires made it unsafe to go outside.  But I found a routine that worked for me and I’m actually doing better than I’ve ever been.  HOWEVER, I’ve been failing miserably on going to sleep early and waking up early.  I haven’t been sleeping well, but I hope that change when I can find a replacement for my mattress.

 3) Try to draw. It’s been many years since I’ve drawn anything. Even though art is no longer my desired career path, I still miss the feeling of creating something visually.

 -It’s so hard to find time to draw.  But there was a short duration where I did draw ONE picture.  It’s not great, but I enjoyed creating it and I like what the picture represents.

 4) Read the Romance of the Three Kingdom Books. Just do it.

 -I…..barely read at all this past year.  I did finish the first volume of RotK, but I was already near the end to begin with.

 5) Attack that backlog (videogames). I’ve been neglecting that backlog this past year and kept adding new games to the list. This past year and past decade was amazing for gaming despite the difficulty the industry faced with massive layoffs, restructuring, and the rise of free/mobile gaming being the top grossing market in the industry. There’s still a lot of amazing games I haven’t played through that I really want to get around to playing.

 -Good news: I completed 141 games in 2020.  That’s the most I’ve completed in a year with 133 being the highest back in 2015.  Bad news: I’ve accumulated 184 games throughout the year…

 My Resolutions for 2021:

 1) Work on even more original music.  2020 is the most amount of original work I’ve ever created in a year and they were far greater than the remixes I made in the same year.

 2) Mix in new activities this year.  I haven’t watched animé in years and I managed to watch through 19 shows over the summer in 2020.  It was such an incredible feeling watching animé again and changing up my daily routine.  I also created one drawing.  I’d like to do more of that this year: read more books, watch more anime, draw more, practice more musical instruments, and work on other non-music related projects.

3) Find even more ways for self-improvement.  Each day, I strive to better myself as a person in body and mind.  I’ve been doing pretty well with taking care of my health, and I think I still have plenty of room for improvement.  I made new discoveries on mixing and mastering in music production.  I’ve been trying to improve in fighting games the past 2 years and I want to get better (and Guilty Gear Strive releases in April).  Maybe fulfilling resolution #2 will allow me to learn new things or gain new experiences.

4) Apply for jobs.  I have enough work to compile a new portfolio.  I’m ready.

5) Control yourself!  I can’t believe I’m making this my resolution once more, and I’ll probably fail considering how many games I’m (now, after seeing what’s in store for 2021 shown at the Videogame Awards) looking forward to this year.  But if possible: spend less money, finish more games than acquired, and reduce that backlog!

 

2020 has been a tough year for the world.  For me, it was a year of reflection and improvement.  I was very focused on work and composed some of the best I’ve ever made.  I’m going to try to get everything up within the next half year and I can’t wait to share it with you all.  I played a lot of fun videogames, exercised a lot, got back into watching animé, got better at fighting games, got to know some of my friends a bit better, and yet my future still feels like a mystery.  If there was anything valuable I learned from trying to improve in fighting games is that it can be difficult to see any improvement in yourself if you only look at victories and defeats.  Learning, adjusting, and adapting are all part of the smaller victories that help you reach your goal.  It’s become clearer to me now.  I still can’t see where the goal is, but I finally see that I have been moving forward in life.  I can only hope that this year is truly the start of something incredible.

Plans for December

November went by rather quickly and yet I'm still not done with my project yet.  Finishing the last 2 tracks was a bit of challenge and finding the motivation to mix & master each track has also been difficult.  I had a lot of plans and ideas I wanted to carry out in December as soon as I finished this current project, but it seems I'll still be finishing it up these next few weeks.  What I really want to do in December is drop everything I was planning on doing and focus on learning one piano piece and one song and guitar.  I've planned on doing this for several years now and never found the time to do it.  Being away from practicing piano and guitar for so long this year, I feel drawn towards this old goal and make it a reality.  I also want to spend time getting through more games before I inevitably get some more during the Winter Sales.  I already pick up a decent amount of games this past weekend for Steam Autumn Sale, but I think I can finish a decent amount of them the following weeks.

I do miss watching anime as I haven't watched any since the start of October, but I don't know if I'll have any time.  Genshin Impact, Phantasy Star Online 2 and Guardian Tales continue to take up a lot of time out of my day as I'm saving up resources to get new characters or level them up.  My biggest concern is with Genshin Impact as it takes up the most time in my daily runs.  I think I need to accept the fact that I may not get the characters I want and just play the game's story normally and enjoy it that way.  Maybe I can just change it up in December I try to fit in watching anime as part of my daily schedule.

I just feel so torn as I was supposed to finish up my portfolio and start applying for jobs this year, and I felt so ready to do so.  But this recent project really makes me believe it's worth delaying all that just a little so I can make it part of my portfolio as it'll look better than anything else I've done in a while.  At the same time, I just want to be a bit selfish and not think about "work", "jobs" and "applications" and really try to learn that one piano piece and that one guitar song just for my own self-satisfaction.

The year is almost over, and it's been a strange feeling of it being very long and very short at the same time.  It's hard to describe.  A lot of awful things have happened this year in the world, and yet there was a lot of growth, change, and things that made me happy this year.  I'll admit, there were times I felt depressed or lost this year and wasn't sure what I should do.  It's been a whole decade since I've graduated from university and I've still yet to find myself in the videogame industry.  All the tragedies, virus outbreak, wildfires, civil unrest, and economic struggle made me question if there was a better future waiting for us or if it was just going to get worse.  I can only hope that 2021 is a turning point where the world not only recovers, but becomes even better than it was before.

I think I'm doing okay as I am right now.  It would probably be a good idea to quickly finish up everything I need to apply for jobs and do it throughout December, but I can't seem to let go of the idea of trying to learn that one piece on piano and song on guitar.  I guess I just want to stop worrying about the future and enjoy the present for just a month.  In January, I hope to be busy and productive with all sorts of projects and job applications.  But once I finish this current project, I think I want to relax for a bit.

Stretching myself thin

This month has been extremely productive, but exhausting.  I finally got around to doing one last example track for my portfolio.  It took a week of research, experimentation and picking out the instruments I wanted to use before I actually started composing.  What I originally wanted to do was make a semi-longer track that transition between different ideas to kind of tell a short story.  The narrative and ideas came out to be a bit longer than I expected and the track I made inspired me to split it into six separate ones to tell a somewhat longer story.  I’m already working on the 5^th track out of the six, so I’ve been making good progress.  The problem is how I went about my days this past month.

I have stopped watching animé entirely this month because of how much time I’ve been putting into working, exercise, and gaming.  I’ve explained what I’ve been doing with work.  For exercise, I decided to pick up Ring Fit Adventure for the Nintendo switch and have been utilizing it the past 2 weeks.  Despite all the push-ups, squats, and resistance band exercises I’ve been doing, I still felt like I needed cardiovascular exercise really badly.  Ring Fit Adventure has been a great stand in for not walking outside or going to the gym (since air quality has been poor outside and gym is closed due to Covid-19).  I also wanted a cardio workout to improve my sleep since it’s been so difficult to fall asleep the past year.  I think it would have helped if it weren’t for the fact I kept staying up so late every night.

With gaming, Genshin Impact is out and I’ve been playing it everyday if not to just to do daily quests.  Along with that, I’ve been still doing daily runs for Guardian Tales and Phantasy Star Online 2.  Playing through these 3 games has been wearing me down and I haven’t been completing any games the past few months.  So initially, I was playing Genshin Impact at 2AM when it resets to do my dailies, but then I wouldn’t feel satisfied and end up playing something else right after up until 5-6AM before I head to bed.  It was becoming a really awful habit and so I’ve changed it where I do dailies during the day and play other games at night.  I still haven’t really fixed it since I still go to bed around 3-4AM, but it’s a little better.  Minecraft Steve and crew were released for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate and I played a bit of that.  Cagliostro released for Granblue Fantasy Versus and I ended up playing quite a bit more of the game again just to try to get better.  I spent quite a few hours in RPG mode farming for materials to make weapons, reviewed and practiced characters I was already learning and figuring out new ones.  I discussed with a friend I was playing with that I was a bit disappointed in myself for having over 100 hours in Granblue Fantasy Versus and was still playing at a basic level.  So I’ve been trying to learn and expand my knowledge, abilities and understanding of the game.  I also did a bit of that in Under Night In-Birth Exe:Late[cl-r] since I wanted to learn a few new characters.  Besides that, playing games like Yakuza 0, Halo 1 in the Master Chief Collection, Tangledeep and Rivals of Aether with mods on has kept me up quite a few nights.

I really am trying to improve myself this month in every aspect: music composition/production, gaming with self-improvement and learning new things, and health with implementing cardio exercise and trying to sleep at more reasonable times.  It’s become a bit overwhelming, but only a bit.  While I don’t feel pressure or stress from it all, I do feel like my motivation is starting to wane in everything I do.  This is contradicted with the motivation to do more with all of them.  I already have plans on what to work on next after this current project, but I really have to focus on putting the portfolio together and start searching and applying for job.  There are a TON of games I want to play and get through, but a lot of time is taken from just doing dailies on the three main games I’ve been playing everyday (approximately 1-3 hours per day).  I want to work out harder and actually try to lose weight and get a toned body for once.  But when it comes time to do any of them,  I feel tired just thinking about it.

For November, I need to focus on really putting my portfolio together and get myself prepare for job applications.  Other than that, I should also focus on restructuring my daily life and finding a good balance between everything so I can be more efficient and enjoy what I’m doing more.  If thing go well, maybe I can enjoy a month of relaxation in December.

Stagnation

 It's almost the end of September and three months are left in the year.  As much as everyone wants this year to end so a new one can begin, a lot of what we're facing right now isn't going to go away.  COVID-19 is the biggest problem and threat that we're facing in the world right now.  Even if a vaccine is created, tested safe, and distributed throughout the world, there is the unfortunate chance that this virus could evolve and render the vaccine useless in the future.  I can only hope that life will be better for everyone in the near future rather than the far future.

I feel like I've really stagnated on all progression this past month.  With work, at the very least I finished the audio work I was doing with a friend on a game project.  But since then, I haven't really gotten anything done the past 2 weeks.  It doesn't help that I've been facing a LOT of computer problems the past week and possibly found the culprit.  My portable external hard drive that I use to store all my Steam games has been acting up where it's active 100% and stays pinned there.  Reading and writing data is slow and it might be the cause of the extremely slow game updates on Steam.  It's possible that it's also affecting the slow downs, choppiness and freezing in the games I play, recording, and the long wait time for the computer to shut down.  So I decided to buy a new Desktop external hard drive and have been focusing on transferring all the data to the new one the past few days.

Because I've been playing so much Phantasy Star Online 2 and Guardian Tales, I haven't been playing anything else, really.  I've only complete 2 games last month and 3 games in September, which goes to show how much I've slowed down on game completion and the limited variety of games I've been playing.  The problem with playing PSO2 and Guardian Tales is that I've been mainly doing dailies for them and never really progressing the story or playing the other content.  So even in the only two games I've been playing I have stagnated.  I've been trying to play games with friends a bit more the past two weeks and that has helped break through the monotony that I accidentally put myself into.

Right after I finished that anime rating post from last month, I decided to watch Ryuuou no Oshigoto!  I was expecting it to be cute and funny, but WOW I was left in awe by how dramatic, emotional and passionate the story would be.  The show is about a young 16 year old boy who became Ryuuou, the highest position in the competitive Shogi world where their thoughts and actions help shape the scene of Shogi as it moves forward.  He starts teaching young, grade school girls how to play Shogi with two 9 year old girls in particular who have talent in strategizing and planning far ahead their moves.  Shows like these often follow a similar formula in presenting its niche theme so that anyone can enjoy it.  It's very similar to competitive sport stories where the characters are passionate, love what they do, face insurmountable opposition, deal with defeat, and overcome their own doubts and inhibitions.  I know little to nothing about Shogi, but I felt that I would enjoy the show anyways as I've experienced something similar in reading and watching Hikaru no Go (which I never finished but really want to go back to).  Ryuuou no Oshigoto's story and characters moved me.  The intense emotions that flood over each scene is accentuated through its incredible background music (BGM) and is one of the best I've heard from all the shows I've watched this year.  I wasn't expecting to watch such a good show right after reviewing all the shows I've watched.  Right afterwards, I had remembered that High Score Girl finished its 2nd season.  I decided to re-watch all of the first season again, but this time in Japanese as I lead into the OVAs and the 2nd season.  WOW!  I knew I was going to like it, but I was expecting the story to get THAT much better in the 2nd season.  When I first heard about High Score Girl, I was honestly expecting it to be a slice-of-life comedy and not a romantic comedy.  But I'm very happy with that surprise.  The show was incredibly enjoyable and the best in catering towards its videogame loving audience.  The references really resonated with me as memories of the early 90s flooded my mind.  I loved the show and it quickly became one of my favorites.  I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I decided to read the manga.  I was surprised that the anime actually changed and added things into the anime that wasn't in the manga in the first half while it took things out in the 2nd half.  Overall, I actually liked the anime more.  I ended up playing a decent amount of older Street Fighter games because of all the Street Fighter they talked about in the story.  After that, I had started watching Ramen Daisuki Koizumi-San.  After watching two shows that were so passionate and story driven, it was quite a contrast when I was watching another slice-of-life comedy anime.  While Ramen Daisuki Koizumi-San didn't hook me, I did enjoy it for all the different types of ramen I learned about.  The comedic formula they had between the energetic Yuu with the stoic Koizumi just didn't work for me.  But I loved all the ramen they showed.  I haven't had ramen since March because of the lockdown.  So finishing three shows isn't too bad for a month, but I've definitely slowed down the past two weeks watching Ramen Daisuki Koizumi-San.  I just felt so lost in thought after finishing High Score Girl.

After I finish transferring these files to my new hard drive, I'm going to need to focus.  I want to do one more example track for my portfolio before I put everything together to start applying for jobs.  Genshin Impact released last night and I'm downloading it right now.  I'm hoping to play a lot of it, but that means having to balance it with PSO2 and Guardian Tales all while trying to complete more games.  I'm hoping to watch more anime, too.

Let's rate some Animé! 8-31-20

Another month passes by and soon Summer will come to an end.  It's been an exhausting month, mainly because I keep trying to fix my sleep schedule.  I'm not doing a very good job since I still sleep around 4-5AM and wake up around 12PM.  I figure one of the biggest factors for my insomnia is the fact I don't get enough cardio or do an exercise that would tire me out enough.  I'm still doing push-ups, squats, and planking everyday, but it's not enough.  I decided to purchase a set of resistance bands as an alternative to weights.  I've been contemplating getting a set of weights, but they're several hundred dollars.  The set of resistance bands was only $20.  I've only used them for a week, but I can see the potential in using them.

Aside from worrying about the COVID-19 virus, California was hit by a passing thunder storm that struck lightning up and down the state.  This has caused widespread fires like the ones we experienced back in 2016 (or was it 2017?).  Because of this, the air stinks of smoke and breathing it has caused some coughing for me since I seem to be sensitive to it.

I've been still working on my portfolio, but was also asked to work on some music and sound effects for a game a friend is working on.  I've spent the past 2 weeks working on it and it seems I'll be spending another 1-2 weeks working on another potential track for it.  I'm hoping I can finish putting my portfolio together, do the research for copyright, upload them and be ready to start looking and applying for jobs next month.

I've stagnated on my backlog this past month for videogames.  Aside from playing more Ghost of Tsushima (which I also haven't played much of this past month), I got swept up in doing events for Borderlands 3, 100% Orange Juice, and Phantasy Star Online 2.  I also picked up Ogre Tale at launch and picked up Gunfire Reborn to play with my friends, which happen to be the only 2 games I completed in August.  Besides that, I've also been playing a new mobile game called Guardian Tales.  While it's not like I'm disappointed with the time I've spent on these games, I also feel like I've been running on auto-pilot and playing them because I felt like I should rather than because I really wanted to.  It still boils down to "wanting to do too much, not enough time in the day to do them all."

I found myself watching a lot of animé this year and it's the most I've watched since college over a decade ago.  It's a nice feeling watching animé again.  I thought it'd be fun to kind of reflect on them and rate them as a change in pace from my usual posts this year.  So let's get to it!

Animé I've watched this year in 2020

Amagi Brilliant Park

Aho Girl

Bofuri

Bokutachi wa Benkyou ga Dekinai

Comic Girls

Demi-chan wa Kataritai

Eromanga Sensei

Gabriel Dropout

Little Witch Academia

Magical Sempai

Masamune-kun no Revenge

Net-juu no Susume

Outbreak Company

Sakura Wars

Ueno-san wa Bukiyou

Amagi Brilliant Park - Fantasy, Comedy

I knew about this show because of this one scene where the pink cat-like character says "Simply put, we need to go lewder."  It was a meme and I thought it was funny.  So when I saw this show recommended off from another show I had just finished, I decided to give it a shot.  It's about an amusement park at the verge of shutting down and requires it flourishing for the stakes are beyond just monetary gain.  It was fun, it was weird, but it's not a show I can easily recommend.

Aho Girl - Comedy, Slice-of-Life

This is one of those short-episode type shows, and so I ended up watching the whole thing in one sitting.  It's a simple premise of a really smart guy who doesn't know how to socialize always being chased down by a really dumb girl.  A lot of its humor is slap-stick comedy and it absurdity.  I really enjoyed the show and while it's not for everyone, I can easily recommend giving it a try if you're looking for comedy.

Bofuri: Itai no wa Iya nano de Bōgyoryoku ni Kyokufuri Shitai to Omoimasu / I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense - Fantasy, Action

It's one of those Light Novels that has those ridiculously long names, and so they often get shortened, nicknames like Bofuri.  I never heard of this show and was recommended by a friend who said I'd like it for its gaming setting and cute characters.  Kaede Honjou plays a VRMMORPG for the first time with a friend who's familiar with gaming.  The Kaede doesn't know much about games and figured maxing out her defense would prevent her from getting hurt.  But little does she know that she accidentally finds the most over-powered build and continually find ways to break the game by becoming even stronger than what the developers intended.  It's a cute show and I'd recommend it to those who enjoy and understand Online Role-playing games.

BokuBen: Bokutachi wa Benkyou ga Dekinai / We Never Learn - Harem, Romantic Comedy, Slice-of-Life

I first heard about this show from a Under Night In-Birth meme since one of the characters look like Orie.  As I started watching more animé this year, this particular show's clips kept appearing in my recommended list on Youtube and I decided to watch it.  Nariyuki Yuiga is a young high school boy who's working towards getting a scholarship into a good college so that he can get a good job to bring his family out of poverty.  While he was considered, he was given the condition of helping 3 other female students get into their choice of school and study before given the scholarship.  The other 3 students happen to be geniuses at what they do, but oblivious when it comes to their choice of study.  I don't even remember the last time I watched a harem animé, but it was a little nostalgic (one of my favorite animé is Love Hina).  I loved the character development, seeing them grow, improve, and come to understand one another as they all struggle with their own personal goals and issues.  It was definitely one of the most enjoyable shows I watched this year.  I can't wait for the next season.

Comic Girls - Comedy, Slice-of-Life

Kaoruko Moeta aspires to be a manga author depicting the fun life of a high school girl.  After countless rejections, Kaoruko was recommended to stay at a dormitory with other young manga artists and learn more about writing a manga and about living a normal high school life.  It was cute and funny, but I know this type of Slice-of-Life comedy doesn't appeal to a lot of people.

Demi-chan wa Kataritai / Interviews with Monster Girls - Comedy, Supernatural, Slice-of-Life

I've been hearing about this show for a while, but didn't think much about it since I wasn't watching animé at the time.  It was one of the shows my friend recommended and so I watched it as soon as I could.  Demi-humans such as vampires and dullahans exist in the world and has since been accepted by society.  Biology teacher, Tetsuo Takahashi, wants to learn more about such beings is at a loss when his research begins and ends with what is common known or researched and dreamed about meeting the actual ones.  To his surprise he meets a vampire, dullahan, snow woman, and succubus at the school he teaches at.  As he interviews each of these demi-humans, he helps them understand more about themselves as he learns more about them.  It's wholesome and heart-warming despite a lot of humor involved.  This was also a show I loved and can easily recommend.

Eromanga Sensei - Romantic Comedy

I was expecting a lot of cute moments and character development between Masamune (main character) and Sagiri (Eromanga Sensei).  I was also expecting it to be light and cheery.  But the very first thing that happens is Masamune explaining how their parents re-married so that he and Sagiri became step-siblings and that their parents had passed away sometime after which left Masamune taking care of a room-ridden Sagiri who won't even look at him anymore.  It was a shocking and confusing show to me because it defied my expectations for it.  I really liked it, but felt the priorities were off the mark.  All the characters other than Eromanga Sensei were very interesting and got a lot of character development.  And while Sagiri is very cute and gets some cute moments, she is rather unbearable a majority of the show (though it's kind of hard to blame her given the circumstances).  I really like the character Elf Yamada.  She had SO much screen time, character development, and opportunities that make her that much more interesting.  Honestly, she feels like the main character.

Gabriel DropOut - Comedy, Supernatural, Slice-of-Life

Gabriel, a young angel who graduated at the top of her class, is sent down to Earth to help guide humans towards happiness and prosperity.  Unfortunately for her, she comes across an MMORPG and becomes addicted.  The show revolves around the life of two angels and two demons going to a human school together where most of the humor is driven by irony.  It was mildly entertaining, but it's not a show I want to watch again.

Little Witch Academia - Coming-of-Age, Magical Fantasy

This was actually the catalyst that got me to start watching animé again this year.  I started watching this show two years ago to gain an understanding of it before I bought and played the game Little Witch Academia: Chamber of Time.  Having held off on it for so long, I decided to finish it and started watching it again.  Atsuko Kagari watches a magic show as a young girl and is inspired to become a witch herself so that she can spread magic and happiness to the world.  The plot is well conceived with a diverse and interesting cast of characters with personality and lovable traits.  The character development is well paced and engaging as the viewer watches Atsuko learn and grow while affecting all those around her.  The animation is impeccable with its dynamic expressions and techniques based on comedic situations or action scenes.  This was definitely the highest quality show I watched this year and one I could call a masterpiece.

Magical Sempai - Comedy

Senpai wants to save the magic club and tries to bring in new members by performing magic for them.  Another short episode animé, this was the only show I watched this year where I felt disappointed and didn't like.  Most of its jokes weren't funny and a lot of the humor were attempted to be covered by "fanservice", which really didn't cut it.  I watched it all the way through, so it wasn't awful, but it was rather forgettable and didn't leave much of an impression.

Masamune-kun no Revenge - Romantic Comedy

After being cruelly rejected by the beautiful Aki Adagaki as a child, Masamune Makabe decides to concoct a plan to make himself incredibly attractive and popular to make Aki fall desperately in love with him so that he can reject her spectacularly.  The overall writing for its plot is well paced and incredibly engaging.  I couldn't get enough!  I do think some of the character development and relationship building wasn't polished enough or get enough attention, but the way the story kept surprising me and got me hooked left such an impression that I couldn't stop thinking of this show.  It has so many memorable moments.  Sadly, it doesn't seem like it will get a second season.  Thankfully, the manga was finished and so I fervently read through the whole series and absolutely loved it.  It is a bit flawed in character development for the side characters and the ending felt rushed, but WOW I haven't felt like this watching an animé or reading a manga in a long time.  It has some aspects of a Shoujo romance and some aspects of a shonen harem.  It's a unique story that I haven't experienced before.  I felt quite emotionally invested in the characters.  I think I could only recommend this show to those who like romance and is willing to transition into reading the manga as the animé ends with you wanting more but can't deliver.

Net-juu no Susume / Recovery of an MMO Junkie - Romantic Comedy, Slice-of-Life

30 year old Moriko Morioka is a successful career woman who decides to leave the working world to fulfill her wish of leading a peaceful and enjoyable life of a NEET.  Having the MMORPG she used to play get shut-down, she decides to find and play a new MMORPG where she met new players and cultivated new relationships.  But some chance encounters in real-life starts crossing into her gaming life and can no longer be ignored.  Can she continue to lead the life of an Elite NEET?  Honestly, the show is slow and it's possible that it won't get another season as the manga has also been discontinued due to the author's health issues from allowing her to continue.  Despite that, I couldn't stop watching and I kept wanting to see that one moment (you'll know it if you ever start watching it).  I liked it, but it's sad to know that it's probably a story we won't get to see a conclusive resolution to.

Outbreak Company - Comedy, Fantasy

This was a surprising show that I ended up really liking.  My friend actually recommended me against watching it as he didn't find it that enjoyable and I found out after finishing the show that a lot of people didn't like the show, either.  Shinichi Kanou, a hardcore Otaku who loves every aspect of the culture, applies to a job looking for an expert in Otaku culture.  During an interview, he's drugged and wakes up in an unfamiliar world where dragons, elves and dwarfs exists.  Shinichi is to take on the job of introducing Otaku culture into this new and unfamiliar world of Medieval fantasy.  While I was expecting the whole "Otaku culture is great" shtick, I was not expecting the whole political aspect, class struggle, and racism to be involved.  It was a fun show and an easy watch.  I want to recommend it, but the fact that so many people didn't like makes me question my taste in animé.

Sakura Wars - Adventure, Mecha, Sci-Fi, Shounen

I've been interested in the Sakura Wars franchise for the longest time.  But the fact that most of the games never came to America and it was difficult to find the animé back in High School, I never found a way to really get into it.  The sixth and newest Sakura Wars games in the mainline series was brought to America this year and I pre-ordered and played it.  Sadly, the game was incredibly cliché, corny, and the total opposite of what I expected.  What got me interested in the series is that every game has incredible openings with the music composed by Kohei Tanaka.  The opening of each game showed thrilling action, touching camaraderie, emotional drama; they were so memorable and left such an impression it's hard not to be left in awe.  I started questioning "has the games and anime always been like this?  Or is this just the product far detached from the original?"  So I started looking up gameplay footages of the original and I realized a lot of scenes and moments in the newest game are homages to the original, and yet they don't quite have the same impact.  The biggest problem I have with the newest game is that everything felt contrived and artificial.

Despite all that, I went into watching the original animé with an open-mind and my god, my mind was blown.  For a game/animé that is heavily involved in romance, I found it odd that the characters weren't particularly attractive at glance and their default personality aren't amiable either.  But as each character is featured and interacts with the others, you slowly understand them and find aspects about them that view them favorably.  At a certain point, I found myself emotionally invested in all of the characters.  Their struggles, their goals, their fears, their pride and determination all felt so real, it just brought the whole world of Sakura Wars to life.  "This is what I was hoping for and more!" I thought when I finished the show.  It is, hands down, the best show I watched this year and well deserved for its reputation of being a masterpiece.  It made me appreciate the newest Sakura Wars a little more, but it still pales in comparison by a large margin to the original.

Ueno-san wa Bukiyou / How Clumsy you are, Miss Ueno - Comedy

This is another one of those short episode anime that you can get through in one sitting.  Ueno is a brilliant girl who can make anything she thinks of, except making Tanaka aware of her feelings for him.  It's short, it's cute, but it's not good enough for me to recommend.

So for a quick run-down of all the shows I watched this year:

Masterpiece: I can definitely recommend watching

Little Witch Academia

Sakura Wars

Recommended: I liked it a lot and can recommend it to most people

Bofuri

Bokutachi wa Benkyou ga Dekinai

Demi-chan wa Kataritai

Enjoyable: I enjoyed it, but I'm not sure if I could recommend it to just anyone

Amagi Brilliant Park

Aho Girl

Eromanga Sensei

Masamune-kun no Revenge

Outbreak Company

Fun: I might have liked it, but I don't think others will

Comic Girls

Net-juu no Susume

Not Recommended: It's not something I'd watch again

Gabriel Dropout

Magical Sempai

Ueno-san wa Bukiyou

Well, that was fun.  Maybe I'll do this again after watching some more shows this year.  I've accumulated quite a bit of new shows on my queue list to watch, so there's no shortage of what I can watch.

Working on portfolio again

I've been getting back into working on my portfolio again and I think I can finish sometime next month.  I've completed one track so far and I'm around halfway to finishing a 2nd one.  I think I'll have, at most, 1-2 more tracks I want to create before I start looking into things like copyright, distribution, and researching jobs to apply for.  It's been a busy month and, once again, it felt like it just blew by so quickly.

I spent a great deal of time playing through the DLCs of Sword Art Online: Fatal Bullet this month.  I expected them to be around 1-2 hours each (so about 5-8 hours max altogether), but I spent around 30 hours by the time I finished.  The levels of enemies were spiking so quickly in the DLC that I finally caved in and switched the difficulty from Normal to Easy.  It was nice playing the game again, but I needed to free up some hard drive space which was why I was trying to finish it up and uninstall the game.  Ghost of Tsushima released a week and half ago on PS4 and so far it's really fun.  I've wanted a Samurai simulator game for the longest time that had quality to it, a fun and authentic combat system, and a feel of a wandering samurai.  While I am enjoying the game a lot, I also need to free up more space on my PC as it was announced today that Phantasy Star Online 2 will be on Steam on August 5th (thank goodness).  I just hope it fixes all the launcher problems and allow me to play the game again after all the trouble Windows Store and Windows Update put me through last month.

I also kind of got back into watching anime again.  I've been trying to make time and fit in an episode or three each day.  I'm just a bit worried that it'll interfere with productivity and distract me.  I've been getting a lot of recommended anime clips on Youtube since I've been looking up clips of anime I've been watching recently, and I've been mainly been distracted by those as it keep recommending me a lot of shows I've never heard of that seems interesting.

I think August will be another busy month with a lot of work.  I'm still really lost and unclear about my future as it seems bleaker than previous years with the way the world is right now.  I'm looking forward to getting more audio work done, regardless.

Summer begins with a whimper

Another month has gone by, once again.  I've been saying that a lot this year, and it's odd because it should feel slow considering how awful the state of the world has become.  Aside from the COVID-19 virus still infecting the populace and the protests for Black Lives Matters, racism and homo/transphobia has been a common topic this month.  June is pride month which raises awareness and celebrates the challenges and rights those of homosexual orientation or of transgender faces.  With so many people bringing up racism and gay rights, those of opposite opinions have also been a lot more aggressive with how they feel.  With people anxious of being stuck indoors, they congregate the moment officials said it's okay to go outside as long as they continue to follow social distancing and are careful.  Of course, that's not how it went.  People went to large gatherings.  People didn't want to wear masks.  And now, that much more people are infected with the Corona virus and continue to spread it.  With the topic of racism and homophobia/transphobia being prevalent, the amount of hate and harassment has been just as high.  I haven't even mentioned a worldwide economy crumbling, or foreign tensions between China and India rising, or suicide rates going up because of unchecked mental health within the confinement of one's home, etc.  It just seems so scary and intolerable out in the world right now.

I tried to get back into working with a remix.


I wasn't completely satisfied with this remix.  But I make do with what I got and didn't want to dwell on this particular project for too long.

While I do try to keep up with current events and news since I'm disconnected from the outside world more than usual, I've tried to put more focus into my work and personal goals.  Working on the remix took most of the time out of this month, so I didn't get much done.  With Phantasy Star Online 2 finally out in North America, I tried to play as much as possible.  But since the game is exclusive to the Microsoft Store, parts of it is undoubtedly linked to Windows.  When Windows updated, it broke the game for me after 2.5 weeks of playing the game.  I haven't been able to play since then.  While I planned out for my next few projects, I knew the summer events were going to distract me and so slowed down on work to put some focus on games.  I tried to clear some more games from my Steam library so I can cycle in a new batch of games as well as buy some new ones.  So far, a lot of the game announcements throughout June have been rather disappointing and not particularly exciting.  New Game+ Expo was last week and the most exciting news was that Ys IX was confirmed to have a Western release, Trails of Cold Steel IV has a release date, and Inti Creates announced Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon 2 for a release on July 10th.  Given the slow down in progress because of developers working from home and the fact that we're in the transition period into the next generation of consoles, I guess it's not as surprising to see a lack of games announced this year.  With Steam Summer Sales, I feel like a lot of games have stagnated on big discounts and haven't really moved in years.  Still, I bought a decent amount of games and having fun with them so far.  I'm planning to take this week to play through my new games and hopefully clear some more off my library of games before I start getting back into work.  I think I'm going to try to finish the last few example tracks I want to use for my portfolio, set things up and start looking for a job I can possibly work remotely from home.  It's not exactly what I had in mind for my entry into the Videogame Industry or as my first full time job in nearly a decade, but I feel like my skills are ready and it gives me a chance to get some experience without worry about moving, paying expenses and such right away.  I'm not sure what the environment for hiring is at the moment, but I imagine not a lot of people are seeking potential employees within our given environment.

I was going to try to do some more reading or watch anime, but I'm just constantly always working or clearing through games that I never feel like I have time.  I can understand people miss being around other people or wanting to participate in outdoor activities, but it's hard to imagine people getting bored at home considering the sheer amount of indoor activities available to us in our modern day lives.  For the month of July, I hope I can get a fair amount of work done as well as clearing more games.

A quick month

I can't believe we're already at the end of May.  I decided to spend May on doing the other things I didn't get to do in April: reading books, watching anime, and finishing some games.  There were so many things I wanted to talk about throughout the month, but I was always constantly doing something that I never felt like I had the time to reflect on them.

I managed to finally finish reading the first volume of Romance of the Three Kingdoms, yet I still have 3 more to go before I fully complete the story.  I got around to watching all of Little Witch Academia so I could finally start playing the game.  I loved the anime so much.  It was magical, moving, and such a joy to watch.  I've started on the game, but it feels very slow and tedious.  I also decided to watch all that I could of the Sakura Wars franchise since I was curious about what the original story was about.  As I played the newest Sakura Wars game, I couldn't help but wonder if the older games were as cheesy and contrived as the newest one.  I watched playthroughs of the original and compared them with the anime adaptation and thought the anime did an incredible job capturing most of the important parts of the game.  I absolutely adored the original anime as it far surpasses my expectations of what I wanted out of the franchise: exciting warfare combat, a sense of camaraderie, and those "moments" of romance, drama, and fighting spirit.  I also finished playing the newest Sakura Wars and was disappointed with the game since I felt it had all the right tools for a great game but didn't get it right during execution.  Still, I'm glad I got to play the game.  With that, I only finished two anime shows and I watched the two OVAs for Is the Order a Rabbit?.  In terms of games, I had finished Streets of Rage 4, Trials of Mana remake, Oninaki, The Evil Within 2, and Team Sonic Racing aside from a handful of smaller games.  I wanted to talk about a lot of these games, but I feel like I don't really have time to.

This month may have felt fast, but it wasn't all fine and dandy.  Seanna, our last silkie chicken, passed away on the night of May 19th.  Over that past weekend, my dad had already mentioned that she was dying and she wasn't looking too well.  Looking at her, I knew it to be true.  I was anxious and stressed that whole weekend knowing it was going to happen sometime soon.  We had already sat down for dinner and as soon as I was about to take a bite to eat, we saw Seanna flapping frantically.  We knew it was coming, but it was still hard.  I tried not to get attached to Seanna after losing Powderpuff two years ago, and although it didn't affect me nearly as much this time, it still hurt.  More than anything, I was worried about my dad.  He didn't eat solid food for a week and is still barely eating solid food now after a week and a half.  I stayed off of voice chat with my friends and tried to stay quiet throughout the week to give him some peace and quiet.

With the rest of the world, the lockdown has finally taken its toll.  People are protesting, some states are opening back up which has caused another surge of covid-19 cases in certain states, people are losing jobs, unemployment rates and suicide rates have gone up, businesses are closing down, tension between China and Hong Kong/China and USA continue to rise, and a recent case where a black man was killed during an arrest because the officer negligently (or perhaps purposely) applied so much pressure on the man's neck that he suffocated has caused such a stir in the country that every state has protesters yelling for justice.  Even worse, it seems that an officer of Minnesota (where the case happened) instigated a riot mentality by going into a Target, destroying things there and stealing merchandise so that others would do it too.  With so many people angry and not knowing what to do about it, they followed suit and took their anger out by doing the same.  Buildings have been burned, shops are being looted, and chaos spread.  Whether it was the instigator's attempt at diverting the media and public's attention away from the case or a way to get everyone riled up so that the police can justify any method of suppressing the riots, it just made a bad situation worse.

I'm just trying to enjoy life right now as best as I can in the situation we're in.  I think I might start working again on Monday with the beginning of June.  It's hard to believe we're already nearing June.  Despite so many events being canceled, the amount of online events taking its place is going to be very interesting for the next three months.  Instead of 3 days of E3, there will be announcements from various publishers all throughout the summer.  Instead of 3 days of EVO, there will be 5 weekends of competitions, exhibitions, and announcements.  I haven't gotten much work done this year, but I'd like to enjoy this year's Summer as well if I can.

Oh yeah, and Phantasy Star Online 2 finally released on PC for North America 2 days ago.  After 8 years of waiting, I'm finally playing the game!